Monitor proceedings while perched on the back of Are Prada Handbags Cheaper In Italy an elephant
He has just been given a lucrative new job where progress simply means doing better than David Moyes and last week he led his national team to a momentous spanking of the side reputed to be one of the best in history, but Louis van Gaal is not a happy man. Not because he fears Holland’s next opponents could ruin his country’s sudden feelgood factor – the next opponents are the Culturalstereotyperoos, for goodness’ sake – but because he fears he may have to watch the destruction of Australia from down under … and all because of those thoughtless Brazilian stadium builders. It’s one thing taking a mountain of money to erect vast international sport palaces while leaving the hoi polloi to get their education from vermin and their life-saving operations from cut-price bicycle repair shops, but ignoring schools and hospitals while using a mountain of money to erect vast international sport palaces in which the dugouts are below pitch level really does take the biscuit.
“In the middle of the pitch there is a cameraman who deprives me of the view, and with me all the coaches and managers sitting in the ground, because we are dug under rather than dug out,” bawled Van Gaal of the Estadio Beira-Rio, the scene of Holland’s 4-0 victory today. The Dutchman then spelled out exactly what hardship that brings: “That obliges us to stand up. I’m a sitting-down coach, not a standing-up coach,” he sobbed. Van Gaal then joked that he may have to get himself a barstool but the Fiver would much prefer if he just sat in the assigned dugout – and used a periscope.
Failing that, a tennis umpire’s chair would surely be more useful than a barstool. Or, even better, Van Gaal could monitor proceedings while perched on the back of an elephant. As far as the Fiver knows, there is nothing in Fifa’s laws of the game that forbids managers from watching matches on elephant-back so if Van Gaal does not Authentic Prada Fairy Bag Sale do so, it can only be down to conservatism. We have to ask ourselves, then: does this prude really have what it Amazon Uk Prada Bags takes to be a world champion?
Elsewhere in Group B today, Spain will attempt to piece together the dignity that was shattered by the 5-1 defeat to the Dutch. Vicente del Bosque has many decisions to make ahead of the meeting with Chile, such as whether to keep faith with Saint Iker Casillas and, in light of Chile’s vulnerability in the air, whether to be so crude as to tell his players to deliver a few high crosses. This is a matter that the manager will have to Are Prada Handbags Cheaper In Italy approach with much tact but Cesc Fábregas, for one, has suggested that he is prepared to abandon principles for the sake of trying to win, and you’d expect nothing less from a man who has just joined Chelsea. “There is not only one way of playing,” boomed Fábregas. “We have played a game of touch, position and control but there are moments in life, and this is one of them, when you have to attack,” added Fábregas, suddenly not sounding like José Mourinho at all. “We have to attack, attack, and score a lot of goals.”
A BIGGER PLUG THAN ONE FROM THE BFG’S BATH
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LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE TODAY
There’s the liveblog which will roll on through the day until Bicester Village London Prada the Culturalstereotyperoos 0-4 Holland with Paul Connolly at 5pm BST. Which, in turn, will be followed by Spain 2-2 Chile with John Ashdown at 8pm and Cameroon 1-1 Croatia at 11pm with Barry Glendenning.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“He’ll just call you sometimes and start free-styling – he doesn’t even say hello. I’m not saying he’s Eminem, but he’s definitely qualified” – producer Mike Chehadé discusses USA! USA!! USA!!! striker Clint Dempsey’s upcoming debut rap album, The Redux, choice rhymes including: “My game Agatha Ruiz Dela Prada Book Bags face won’t never flinch, “I’m beast mode, Marshawn Lynch.”
O FIVERÃO LETTERS
“We’ve all been there with Mario Balotelli (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). In the days before Panini, when football cards were an enticement to procure bubble gum, to keep punters interested the number of cards printed per player was inversely proportional to the popularity-skill quotient of the player. As one could not identify the specific player on the card accompanying said bubble gum until money had changed hands, one was Authentic Prada Handbags Online Australia invariably left with dozens of spare ‘Pat Crerands’ prada, which were impossible to swap with one’s mates for the desired ‘Roger Hunt’. During my trips round car Amazon Uk Prada Shoes boot sales I have spotted numerous bubble gum albums full of nothing but ‘Pat Crerands’, and usually accompanied by graffiti where the original collector had vented his frustration” – Ian Tasker.
“Re: World Cup commentators (yesterday’s O Fiverão letters). You think you have it bad? Here in Canada they keep calling penalties ‘PKs’. It makes my skin crawl. I’ll take a Phil Neville please … or a PN” – Fraser Moores.
“David Robinson’s commentator in Singapore (yesterday’s O Fiverão) was Kevin Keatings. We get a motley crew in Asia: Gary Bloom, Peter Drury … even John Helm” – Roy Allen.
“Regarding O Fiverão Ed’s somewhat sanctimonious ‘humblebrag klaxon’ with Kári Tulinius (yesterday’s O Fiverão letters). Black Prada Bag Mission Impossible Since when is it a humblebrag to stop for sandwiches Best Prada Outlet Italy while driving through one’s own country? It can’t be the sandwiches or the driving. Can it? Or is stopping at South Mimms Services for a cheese and pickle sanger the kind of crazy dream that keeps O Fiverão going on those darker days?” – Richard Beer [seven days in, it really is – O Fiverão Ed].
• Send your letters to email@example.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet O Fiverão. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Ian Tasker.
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BITS AND BOBS
RTE have been forced to apologise after Eamon Dunphy dropped an f-bomb during coverage of Brazil v Mexico. “When Neymar was shaping up to take that penalty, I thought he was [effing – O Fiverão Bad Word Ed] dreading it,” sniffed Dunphy before the game. “I apologise for that, obviously that was an inexactitude,” welped host Bill O’Herlihy.
Big Phil has got some sweet samba funk playing after his team’s 0-0 draw with Mexico. “I have a question for you,” he asked asssorted hacks. “Why all the negativity?”
El Tri, meanwhile, are on a high, after Memo Ochoa’s masterclass in keeping Brazil at bay. “There’s no goalkeeper in a World Cup that has done what Ochoa did against Brazil,” cheered coach Miguel Herrera. “Memo was our saviour.”
Vahid Halilhodzic has blamed his Algeria team’s lack of fitness for the 2-1 defeat to Belgium. “I have a number of players that are rather limited,” he fumed. “Each Algerian player needs to improve his physical condition by 30 to 50%.”
Easily-pleased Russia coach Fabio Capello says the 1-1 draw with South Korea was “the greatest birthday gift I could receive”.
And things are all rosy in the Germany camp. “The players have the afternoon off,” declared team spokesman Jens Grittner yesterday. “They’re free to do what they want with their families and wives. They’ve only got to be back in time for the team dinner at 7pm.”
STILL WANT MORE?
Barney Ronay done put a hex on the World Cup. Expect it to be rubbish from now on. Thanks Barney!
Diego Forlán shows Manchester City how to properly treat a player on his birthday.
Take our beard quiz. It’ll keep you from thinking about England’s impending demise for about .83 seconds.
Stuart James has taken time off from new career as a full-time capoeira teacher to write about Louis van Gaal and why, like a star sign, the Dutch won’t be reading too much into the win over Spain.
Everyone loves Memo.
Some non-World Cup football fixtures, while we’re here.
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